The Transparency Campaign marches on... And my time on Facebook draws to an end...

(Saturday, October 16, 2010)

Just the other day I posted here on Facebook that I'd be pulling the plug for awhile. Since that day I've received numerous replies and text messages asking me why. While several people have been supportive, the most common response seems to be one of fear. Fear that I'll suddenly cease to exist or something. I'm being dramatic here but this is how I feel. Just because I'm going to take a hiatus from social networking does not mean that I no longer have a functioning cell phone, a physical address or even that I'm going to take up residence in a cave.

Thinking back and even looking back at thing I've written, I've come to realize that Facebook has become sort of a clone, a fabrication of real relationships. Sure it's fun to "follow" lives of "friends" from high school (never mind I've been out of high school for close to 15 years), but if I lived in the same town would I show such interest - giving them hours of my day, everyday? While there are hundreds of Facebook "friends", how many are true friends? Here over the past couple of months, and even the past couple of weeks genuine relationships have been at the forefront of my mind.  This has been spurred on by two, and possibly more distinct things. I'll just share with you the two...

#1. My relationship with my gorgeous girlfriend Andrea... I've been chided for the amount of times my status has included her but that's not where I'm going with this. What I've discovered is that my knowledge and love for her doesn't grow because of what I know from my computer screen, but from hours upon hours in face-to-face, real relationship with her. While it's fun to share photos of our adventures together - online. It is those adventures, or even non-adventures like grocery shopping that are most rewarding. 

#2. My long-distance relationship with my family... It is so hard being away from my self-described "crazy" family. I may not see them but two or three times a year, but they truly mean the world to me. Here two weeks ago Andrea and I went to California to visit them. What joy it was to play with my nephews, to cook for my family, and to sit in a living room and merely laugh. Tangible. Real. Valuable. Memory making. I miss that and Facebook doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

There have been several other times I've come close to pulling the plug on Facebook; I just haven't had the courage to do it or I'd talk myself out of it. Two of my biggest excuses for maintaining my account have been...

#1. I enjoy starting conversations (or even a debate. Shocking I know.)... Facebook has given me a virtual soapbox on which to step and discuss personal, religious, and political things. For some reason I feel that this medium is like a megaphone for me. I like challenging people because it is in this that change may occur or beliefs become strengthened. But here's the thing, I really have no way of knowing my impact, if any. Maybe people have grown tired of me and have hit the "hide" button. Having people sit in my living room discussing ___________________ is so much more stretching and authentic. 

#2. I need to show off my photo talent in order to find work... Yes there is merit to marketing myself. But then to be perfectly honest I am seeking attention more than I am seeking clients. It is always nice to be wanted, and I love "words of affirmation". Why not make art that touches lives instead of fishes for compliments?

Here about 2 months ago a friend pulled the plug on his Facebook. He too was bombarded by a throng of people telling him, "Don't go!" He set up some hurdles to jump before he'd allow himself back on. These were lofty goals such as reading "War and Peace". I'm not that heady to tackle such a goal. But let me get down to some of the reasons I'm breaking up with Facebook...

Probably the biggest reason is I waste hours everyday on it. Yes hours. Sure I don't watch TV, but I do sit in front of my computer way to much. Facebook has become an addiction. One that I have to feed first thing in the morning, before I goto work, at work, and before bed. It isn't enough to cut back, I truly need to quit cold-turkey. And as I result I hope my life becomes more productive.

Next. Put simply, I give more time to Facebook every week than I do to my friends, family, personal/ professional development, and most importantly, God.

My room, my budget, my house, and often times, my head - is a mess. And most times instead of working on these things I'll put it all on the back burner in favor of Facebooking.

Andrea said it clearly the other day. She described me as and "all in or all out" person. This is true. That is why I must be deliberate about this Facebook fast. Being half-assed just doesn't cut it for me.

I have a pile of books that are half read. Adventures not lived out. A room that has been a wreck for years. People gone unloved. Trails gone unridden. Plans not finished. Thoughts not completed. Dreams unfulfilled. I cannot and will not throw my life away any longer.

Goodbye Facebook. It isn't you, it's me. I need some space.

- Tim

GOALS:

Finish several books I've started.

Clean and keep clean my room, finally.

Donate 1/4+ of my clothes.

Clean my garage.

1 intentional photo outing a week.

Journal more.

Love more.

Serve more.

Decide on some business specifics (branding/ pricing/ marketing).