OMG I'm so offended!

Just hours before the Super Bowl my pastor admitted that he had stopped using Facebook and stopped watching the news. Why? Because he felt that these things were making it harder and harder to have compassion for others. I have this same life sucking feeling yet I am drawn to social media like moth to a flame. There is just something addictive about it. I can be more opinionated than I would be in person. I have found it easy and even joyful picking fights online.

Somehow people who throw around the term "snowflakes" are themselves so easily offended. Here are some of my initial thoughts about the ridiculousness surrounding the halftime show...

• The double standard portrayed in the above meme seems so painfully obvious. 
• How did people not have an idea that the halftime show might be "inappropriate"? There were teasers at almost every commercial break. 
• I have a feeling that my offended friends watched the entire halftime show so they'd have something to be pissed off about.
• Apparently those who are so offended haven't been to a beach, on a cruise or watched Dancing with the Stars.
• One of the best ways to show your displeasure with the halftime show would have been to change the channel. 
• Comments about Jlo and Shakira "setting women back decades" or "the halftime show promotes a culture of exploitation" are beyond my comprehension because of their absurdity. 

This whole "scandal" over the decency of the Super Bowl LIV halftime show feels like a last straw for me. It has shown me that I need to take a break from the extreme-opinions that flood my newsfeed. Social media is something that is coded to show us more of what is most like our own opinions; which further causes division and separates me from others. 

I'm going to give myself an early birthday present and take a break from Facebook. Call it a "diet". 

    

Beauty Will Save the World

As the next season of the proverbial trashcan fire, The Bachelor, begins I've been dwelling on a weird phenomena. In an apparent pushback against a culture that seems so preoccupied with women's physical beauty there are parents who have decided to forgo telling their girls that they are beautiful or mentioning their looks. 

Sure I'm a new dad, but forgoing telling my daughter that I think she's beautiful seems so foreign to me. I want to lavish her with affection, words of affirmation and attention all day - everyday. Our American culture seems to chew up and spit out our youth. Colorado Springs has one of the highest teen suicide rates in the country. Some might be quick to chalk it up to "mental health", but I would say it has a lot to do with the voices speaking in to these kids' lives. You can only be bullied, body shamed, or called "fugly" for so long before you start to wonder your worth.

"Identity is discovered through the voice we listen to."

- Jonathan Helser 

If the influence of peers isn't strong enough to define our kids; research has said that we see 3,000+ advertisements per day. If you turn on the TV, peruse a magazines or scroll Instagram, you will probably come away with the sense that you aren't attractive, fit or exciting enough. Now imagine that those voices are all your kids hear... What if you never told your wife that you thought she was beautiful? What if the first time your daughter heard "you're beautiful" was from a guy who was trying to date her?  

It's unfortunate that media and society holds so much power to shape us. We must have consistent, wise and loving voices speaking into the lives of our children. It is our duty as parents to provide that fertile soil so that our kids grow up to be strong and loving adults. There is no time for passivity. Tell them how wonderful, smart, kind, beautiful/handsome you think they are. Words are powerful - use them for good.     

"I think refraining from calling something that is beautiful - beautiful, is inherently inhuman... My girls are beautiful.  And I'll be damned if I don't tell them so."

- James, father of 4 girls and my long time friend