Buy it!

I'm not typically one to encourage consumerism but... Goto your iTunes right now and download the song called "Actions Speak Louder"! It is a hip-hop song by Swoope, Tedashii, LeCrae, and Jai. 100% of the profit from the single goes to build an orphanage in the Sudan through the organization His Voice for Sudan.

An amazing testimony and an urgent prayer request!

My long time friends Dan and Kelly Parkins out in California had a baby on Dec. 5th; his name is Samuel. He was born without lungs, and has other medical problems. All the specialists feel that it is time to take Samuel off of life support tomorrow, 12-24. Please pray for strength for Dan and Kelly, their families, and Dan's church "body".

You can read Dan's most recent, and very moving blog post HERE.

Video of the day...

Lyrics of the day...

WOW! So cool!

(geeking out)

Reminds me of a song by one of my favorite hardcore bands...

"The moon will turn to fire, the sky to ash, 

sickles reaping all of us, faithful or not.

Then you will see Christ coming back, 

saving all of us from this torture and death."

-Alove for Enemies

Top 33 albums of the Decade...

What an incredible decade of music! Below are my picks for the top 3 albums from each of the past 10 years. They have encouraged me, lulled me to sleep, made me drive fast, and have brought vast amounts of joy to my heart. This is barely scratching the surface of the music that has influenced me...


2010:

• Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More
• JBM - Not Even In July
• Angels & Airwaves - Love

2009:

• Mewithoutyou - It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright!
• Monsters of Folk - Monsters of Folk
• More Than This - Many Voices One Heart

2008:

• Coldplay - Viva La Vida
• Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
• Underoath - Lost in the Sound of Separation

2007:

• The National - Boxer
• Glen Hansard - Once
• Gregory Alan Isakov - That Sea, The Gamber

2006:

• New Found Glory - Coming Home
• Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
• Cartel - Chroma

2005:

• Sufjan Stevens - Come On Feel the Illinoise!
• Shout Out Louds - Howl Howl Gaff Gaff
• Jack's Mannequin - Everything in Transit

2004:

• Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News
• U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
• Arcade Fire - Funeral

2003:

• Appleseed Cast - Two Conversations
• Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism
• The Shins - Chutes to Narrow

2002:

• Yellowcard - The Underdog [EP]
• Squad Five-O - Squad Five-O
• The Lyndsay Diaries - The Tops of Trees are on Fire

2001:

• The Shins - Oh, Inverted World
• Plankeye - Strange Exchange
• Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American

2000:

• The Violet Burning - Faith and Devotions of a Satellite Heart
• Good Charlotte - Good Charlotte
• Dashboard Confessional - Swiss Army Romance

I have an American Dream...

Here recently I've become more concerned with my finances. Honestly this is something I should have been keeping up with for years but it is easy to think, "I make plenty of money. No need to keep tabs on it. I'll be fine." HA HA riiiiiight. That's until you find that you have $Ø in your checking account. And I don't mean the band Underoath, I mean zero dollars.


I have started listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio when I get to work, as he's on in the late afternoon. One thing that I noticed right away is how rude and cocky he is aside from his sickening syrupy sweet "Christianity". He is like the Dr. Phil of money. They both might have good things to say, but being demeaning and arrogant is no way to communicate your wisdom. (Just a little heads up for those of you who were thinking about taking that path.)


Over and over Dave tells listeners to "Live like no one else". This is tied to his worldview which is shaped by money, of which he's bound to have millions. I have to agree with him that we shouldn't live in debt. That we should know where our money is spent. And it is wise to save. But his worldview doesn't stop there. To me it seems that he encourages his listeners to make a crap ton of money and use it wisely, because it will solve their problems, and make them happy. He is an ardent supporter of the American Dream which is inherently selfish. Sure he's "giving away" money and books this Christmas, but those things aren't coming out of his pocket, and it is great marketing.

"When does the American Dream become everyone else's nightmare?"

-Me

I don't mean to slander the guy, but want to remind you that having money or not having money shouldn't be the root of your joy. It shouldn't be why you live. It shouldn't be what regulates your service to others.


"Somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves."
-From the book RADICAL by David Platt


Let's live like no one else because:
THEY WILL KNOW WE ARE CHRISTIANS BY OUR LOVE...
   

Lyrics of the day...

Yeah we're ungrateful
Yeah we're ungrateful for
Holy books, religious men
Values of beauty, original sin
And all this time we unwind it
I won't give up, I'm not afraid

Resister go
As long as it takes
To reverse the hypocrisy
-From, Chalk Line by Strike Anywhere

Quote of the day...

"How can I aim at the heart of the monster?"
-Caleb Lazaro

Lyrics of the day...

Welcome to 1984 by Anti-Flag


Who would Jesus bomb? Yeah, who would Jesus kill?
The double talk is past surreal
The word of God is now the word of hate
War is peace, and freedom is the Police state
Can't you see the writing on the wall?
Democracy lays trampled on the floor...

You better believe that...
Hell yeah I'm confused for sure what I thought was the New Millennium is 1984!
Mr. Orwell from the grave, adding fresh ink to the page
As the unpresident declares an endless war...
Welcome to 1984!

Feels like Nazi Germany, and Hitler on TV,
As the unpresident spews homophobic speech
Didn't the Allies fight a war to end extremist fascist law
So tell me NOW what the fuck are we fighting for?

I just can not take it anymore
Democracy lays trampled on the floor...
Man, isn't freedom great?!?!

Hell yeah I'm confused for sure what I thought was the New Millennium is 1984!
Mr. Orwell from the grave, adding fresh ink to the page
As the unpresident declares an endless war...

Now we've got...
Armies of peace, armed to the teeth, delivering death to make the world a better place
So celebrate the weapons spending, say a toast to Armageddon, raise some hell!
We're all headed straight to hell!!!

Hell yeah I'm confused for sure what I thought was the New Millennium is 1984!
Mr. Orwell from the grave, adding fresh ink to the page
As the unpresident declares an endless war...
Welcome to 1984!

Holy weight loss!

Back in the summer I took on a personal challenge that I encouraged others to join me in. I termed it No Junk Food June, and while the title seems simple the experience was anything but simple/ easy. That was due to the restrictions I placed on myself. 

*No fast food  *Nothing with corn syrup  *Nothing with MSG  *Only organic produce

Yep. That was the challenge. I'm not preaching that you should do something similar, but just as a WOW moment I dare you to look at the ingredients on the things you purchase next time you're at the store. You'll be hard pressed to to find anything without corn syrup in it, and MSG is a close second. If you take a few minutes to research what doctors have said about those two ingredients, let alone artificial sweeteners, you'll probably rethink what you eat.

In the month of June alone I lost 4 pounds, and as of this morning I've lost 16 pounds!!! Back at the start of the No Junk Food June, I was weighing the most I've ever weighed (228#). While I've not been overly cautious about what in ingest since the challenge ended, I have tried to seek out bread and other products that are free of corn syrup, I've tried to keep up with eating all the fruit I get from my organic food co-op, and I've also been trying to be more active.

I feel great! Not perfect, but great. During the month of June I felt fantastic, and wasn't having those afternoon lulls where I wanted to take a nap. My body and blood sugar felt consistent.

Food. Can't live without it, but we can live better or worse depending on what we're eating. That's food for thought. :)

Help Scum!

My church in Denver, also known as Scum of the Earth Church, was forced to close their doors a few months back because their building which was built in the late 1800's wasn't up to 2010 code. Well duh. 


Scum is an incredible intercity church that is very active in the community. Every week they have a bike repair clinic for their neighbors and Denver's homeless. They also volunteer their time at local ministries to include the Plumfield Cottage School which is a school for homeless kids. Told you they're "incredible".


So... I'm writing to ask you to think about helping our church reopen. Currently we're meeting in another church just 2 blocks away from our building, but obviously we can't stay there indefinitely. Currently there is a non-profit organization that is matching building funds that are donated up to a grand total of $25,000!!! That would get us to the half way point for the renovations that need to be completed to reopen our doors!


Scum's Mission Statement:
We strive to be a church who:
Seeks intimacy with God and honest relationships with others.
Cultivates creativity and uses everyone's gifts.
Asks questions while seeking Truth.
Recognizes our need for a Savior.
Passionately yet respectfully shares the saving love of Christ.
Demonstrates God's love in our community.


Please think about sending a (tax-deductible) donation!

If you do, please mark your check "building fund"

Scum of the Earth Church
P.O. Box 101808
Denver, CO 80250

THANK YOU!

Congrats to my friends at Blood: Water Mission!

My "brothers" from Jars of Clay through their ministry Blood: Water Mission have finally met their goal they were calling the "1000 wells project". This was to raise $7 Million and install wells in 1000 African communities. I'm glad that I was able to partner with them, and encourage others to participate in this grand project.

The Washington Post article HERE...

Lyrics of the day...

"Why's the world ugly when you made it in your image?"
-The Roots

Quote of the day...

"Caring for the poor is one natural overflow and a necessary evidence of the presence of Christ in our hearts. If there is no sign of caring for the poor in our lives, then there is reason to at least question whether Christ is in our hearts."
-From Radical by David Platt

'Tis the season...

Americans will spend about $400 Billion dollars this year on Christmas. Just 4% of that total would end the world's water crisis. It has been estimated that 30,000 people die every day due to lack of clean drinking water. To put that into perspective: Colorado Springs has roughly 400,000 people within its city limits. If people were dying at a rate of 30,000 a day, Colorado Springs would be a ghost town in just under 14 days.

If this kicks you in the gut, or you feel spurred to action; partner with me this Christmas to provide clean-sustainable drinking water to the world's poor. Give directly to Living Water International and then shoot me an email at tim.kippel@gmail.com to let me know what you donated. I'll match all donations up to a grand total of $1,000.

Merry Christmas!

Lyrics of the day...

"I will praise you in this storm."
-Casting Crowns

The winds of change...

About two weeks ago I had a mandatory health screening at work and was told that I had high blood pressure. I was instructed to keep tabs on it for the next couple of weeks and if it remained elevated to consult a doctor. Well, that doctor's visit was this morning. And as they say "Ignorance is bliss".

I've spent all day feeling as if I've been told I'm dying. 

I'm 32 and tonight I start taking blood pressure meds. In fact the same meds my 70 year old dad is taking. What the hell?! This isn't me. This isn't how I want to live. I've always been doctorphobic and seeing that I was Straight-Edge for a time I'm still not too keen on taking drugs let alone taking them for the rest of my life.

While I know that high blood pressure isn't the end of the world, it truly does feel that my life has been cut short. Maybe I'm just being "dramatic". My girlfriend has definitely accused me of that before. So I'm trying to not freak out. 

Here's to living! Here's to living boldly! Here's to new pastimes and new habits (all before New Year's even)! Here's to living in spite of any setbacks!

"Life is short and these dreams don’t chase themselves. In the face of the brevity of life and the wonders that await in the short span we’ve got, a little fear standing between us and our dreams – whatever they are – seems a poor reason, for not reaching out for those dreams."

-David duChemin

Lyrics of the day...

"I'm too alive to be idle."
-Heath McNease

Quote of the day...

"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can."
-John Wesley

Lyrics of the day...

The lyrics of the day are dedicated to an unnamed friend who is going through what has to be the most trying time of his life. This is my prayer for you.

Struggling under the pressure from the weight of life.

I fail everyday it all adds up.

I know you are there, but I still feel distant.

Holding on to your truth I try to stand.

Hard pressed and weary give me the strength to remain.

Erase my debt give me the strength to remain.

- Point of Recognition

CHRIST-mas Tree?!?!

Instead of buying one of THESE, venture over to Advent Conspiracy and see how you can really show the world that you believe in the Christ of Christmas.






If you're interested in donating to Living Water International this Christmas, contact me by email: tim.kippel@gmail.com and I'll be willing to match your donations.

Question of the day...

Maybe one of you highfalutin or romantic types can answer this for me...

Sooo while looking for "conflict-free" diamond(s) I ran into something called the "Kimberly Process" which is supposed to insure that diamonds are not the proverbial "blood diamonds". Some websites make a grand show of saying their diamonds are "conflict-free" and others make no mention of it. Some websites say quietly that all their diamonds are "conflict-free", but then make provisions for you to shop strictly for those.

And then I came across a jeweler who had information regarding the Kimberly Process, and that claimed that 98% of all diamonds coming into the US since 2003 are now these Kimberly diamonds.

So duh, I'm confused. Are all (or 98%) of diamonds I'd come across "conflict-free"? Are some retailers inflating their prices and ego by claiming they strictly sell these social justice minded diamonds?

Thought provoking...

"Anyone wanting to proclaim the glory of Christ to the ends of the earth must consider not only how to declare the gospel verbally but also how to demonstrate the gospel visibly in a world where so many are urgently hungry. If I am going to address urgent spiritual need by sharing the gospel of Christ or building up the body of Christ around the world, then I cannot overlook dire physical need in the process."
-From Radical by David Platt

Lyrics of the day...

In "honor" of "Black Friday", here are some powerful lyrics from Johnny Cash...

Man in Black
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that every thing's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Til things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Video of the day...

Here's a little something special for you on this Thanksgiving day.

One of my new favorite bands, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. 

Enjoy.

Advent Conspiracy...

So, Christmas is right around the corner. In 33 days to be exact. It isn't a surprise that it was coming, it happens every year, and the Christmas end caps at the local stores start having "Christmas" stuff starting in what seems to be in September. What are you doing to prepare for Christmas this year: Working on your haggling skills? Taking MMA classes so you can defend yourself from rabid shoppers? Or are you slowing down and remembering what Christmas is truly about?

I'm really looking forward to this Christmas. I'll be meeting my girlfriend's extended family, and she's going to show me her old stomping grounds in the StL. For many years I've been unable to be home for Christmas, because of my current job, and at one point there my military service. It would be a lie to say that "being apart from my family during the holidays has been easy." Regardless of the many years living away from them, being apart on holidays hasn't gotten any easier. It is this family oriented time of year that reminds me how blessed I am, and points me toward the Christmas that has been obscured by over-indulgence and consumerism. 

Christmas is the story of family and Christ's incarnation...

"The Incarnation, (in Christian theology) the union of divine nature and human nature in the person of Jesus; assumption of human form by the son of God."

We're all familiar with the Christmas story. But let's look at the dynamics for a second. Christ came to earth in a particularly chaotic time. A time when the brutal Roman government ruled most of the known world. Christ came not as an adult man, but as a fragile infant. He did all the baby things, to include, pooping on himself. He had to learn to speak. The Creator was taken care of by his own creation. It doesn't get more humble than that. 

Gifts are wonderful, getting them and receiving them; but how have we allowed Christ's story - the basis for Christmas, to be swallowed up by credit card debt and tinsel? How does people being trampled to death on "Black Friday" reflect the grand story of the Incarnation?

Here a couple of years ago I heard about the folks at Advent Conspiracy who were challenging us to review how we treat Christmas. They encouraged us to GIVE PRESENCE instead of PRESENTS. Check out their website and check your heart in the process. A-C has helped me change my focus. I have been more mindful of "the reason for the season", and this has led me away from consumerism to genuine acts of charity. (*See the end of this post for more information.)

"... like the presents under the Christmas tree: the ones which came from Woolworth's may be just as rejoiced over as the more expensive ones, and best of all are those which are handmade and which may have cost love, rather than money."

-Madeleine L'Engle

"He who lives only to benefit himself confers on the world a benefit when he dies." 
-Tertullian 

Is your heart and mind focused on the next big Christmas sale
or the Christ of Christmas???






Over the past couple of years I've partnered with Living Water International via their partnership with Advent Conspiracy. I've matched donations made to Living Water... If you're interested in giving please shoot me an email: tim.kippel@gmail.com

Fortune cookie wisdom...

"You'll accomplish more if you start now."

Lyrics of the day...

"Life is too short to live without poetry."
-Frank Turner

YIKES, budgeting...

How to get on a budget is easy, I can point you to some helpful websites and say, “There you go!” So maybe the question isn’t “How?” but “Why?” Maybe this “Why” comes to your attention when you start getting overdraft notices in the mail or  your inbox. Or maybe you finally get around to looking at your accounts and say, “Where the hell did all my money go?!” It could even be that you feel strapped even though you make more money than all of your friends. For me it was a combination of all these things that pushed me to taking a harder look at budgeting.

Not only does taxes eat up our hard earned money, but wasteful spending is also to blame. I’ve been one of those types that makes spontaneous purchases. Like that gal Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite is trying to sell Tupperware too, and lures her into the purchase by saying he’d throw in the wooden schooner; I too go, “I want that!” What would help me is to make a list of those things that I want, and sitting on it for awhile just to see if my feelings change. I’m not talking about the essentials like groceries, but those big ticket items, or even small ticket items but ones that I can truly live without. Want vs. Need.

Taking control of your spending takes discipline. Something that I’m not quite “there” with just yet. And if you’re married, living on a budget isn’t something that only one of you has to do - you must truly work as a team to make it work.

Just like being disciplined to a (good) workout regimen will yield results, so will budgeting. And much like physical fitness, budgeting is also trying. Knowing where you spend your money, and having a plan for spending money brings with it peace. Yes even if you have to turn down a fun weekend trip with friends because “It’s just not in the budget.”

So TAKE CONTROL of your finances before they take control of you. 

Are you living to work or working to live?

Here are some resources:

Mint.com

Crown Financial - tools

Dave Ramsey - tools

Dustin Kensrue - "Pistol"

Today is Andrea and I's 6th month (dating) anniversary. Everyday I love her more, and I feel more complete. When I say "complete", that doesn't mean that I haven't had fears, insecurities, or that we haven't had tough conversations. What I'm saying is, we are growing together. And it is in this growing process where our flaws come to light and we choose to continue loving. I feel I understand Christ's love for us all the more through Andrea's love for me. That isn't to say that I worship her in His place, but things like "unconditional love" which used to be merely great ideas or Biblical callings - are coming to life.

I still may not know how to describe knowing that she's "the one". But feeling completely loved, unconditionally loved, free to be me, satisfied, complete, in awe, respected, affirmed, and closer to the Lord definitely help me know.

If you have about 45 minutes free to listen to a sermon PODCAST from Andrea and I's church in Denver. It is a beautiful message about love and marriage. 

Thought provoking...

"The greater the radius of light, the wider the perimeter of darkness."
-Madeleine L'Engle


The brighter we "burn" the more we will feel that we're surrounded by darkness. 


Let's continue to speak the truth in love! Let's live without hesitation! And let's not give up hope, no matter how dark the days!

Quote of the day...

"And then there is time in which to be, simply be, that time in which God quietly tells us who we are and who he wants us to be. It is then that God can take our emptiness and fill it up with what he wants, and drain away the business with which we inevitably get involved in the dailiness of human living."
-Madeleine L'Engle

Help-Portrait...

If you're interested in serving here in Colorado Springs
please email: megan.e.berry@gmail.com

Quote of the day...

Every heart is a revolutionary cell!
-The Edukators (film)

The root of all evil...

Money is the root of all evil. Did you know that the actual Biblical reference is often misquoted? Apostle Paul isn't saying that money itself is the root of evil, but the misplaced love of it is. I can be cautious about how I view money, and use money, but all in all money is a big factor in my life let alone any one's life.

Recently I've been reading articles on the Get Rich Slowly Blog, which has me thinking more rationally about my spending and more importantly, my savings. Personal finances have been one of the biggest stressors for me over the years. I returned the first vehicle I ever bought because I couldn't afford it, and wanted to dodge the repo hit against my credit. And last year I finally killed $24,000 in credit card debt.

More and more I realize that spontaneous decision making, or at a minimum, un-weighed decision making on my part has led to tough times and unneeded stress. Last year I refinanced my house. Something that you all should look into if you're a home "owner". Thankfully this has allowed me to save about $200 a month. But you know what? I still spend way too much on my house each month. Having a house, even a refinanced one eats up about 40% of my pay.

Just yesterday morning I sat down to review my spending and budget. When you're in love, and looking toward the future you start evaluating your finances. Ring. Wedding. Honeymoon. (Kids.)... Well I look everything over, run some simple math calculations and I think, "HOLY HELL I'm screwed!" It is never a good feeling to see the -$XXX.

I quickly make a mental list of things I could readily sell. Yes, selling my body briefly crossed my mind, but it's not an option that my wonderful girlfriend would be ok with.

Sooo... I've modified my car insurance premiums in order to save some money. A whopping like $6 a month or something savings. I just didn't see where I could trim or even be more responsible. Another cut to my budget I made was to stop investing in my Roth IRA. This isn't the wisest when you think in terms of compound interest, and also when I'm making like 20% interest. I seriously did not know what to do.

Why am I sharing all this with you? Well first of all, because this is what the The Transparency Campaign is all about. Openness. I'd much rather have you read about my indiscretions than have your own.

Here are some things that I've been learning over the years, and even since yesterday:

• Don't spend more than you make. Simple rule. But one that's often difficult to follow.
• Don't rely on credit cards.
• Only spend on credit cards if you have a budget and a game plan to pay off the balance or purchase in a timely manner, if not monthly.
• Buying a house is a BIG deal. Know what you're getting into.
• Don't buy a house because you're emotionally attached to it. But buy it because it'll work well within your budget, and with your lifestyle. Mortgage and utilities payments will suck up a ton of your resources.
• Don't leave home without it! Leave home without it. "It" being your credit card(s). If you don't have them with you, you'll find it near impossible to spend money that you shouldn't. And if your debit card gets you into trouble, leave that at home too.
• Eating at home can be so much cheaper than eating out. And, it can be just as rewarding if you invite some friends over.
• Free activities are fun. Go for a hike, a bike ride, or dive into a book.
• Save money! Start saving when you don't make much money. Don't take on the attitude of "when I make more money I'll start saving." Start early, and as raises come along bump up your contributions.
• Savings accounts might be ok for short-term savings for a goal you have in mind, but are NOT ok for long term savings.
• Don't let fads and or peer pressure force you into buying things you don't need. If your phone works, and you have internet at home and work, there is no need for a "smart" phone and an extra $60 monthly fee for internet.
• Keep tabs on where your money is going.
• Renegotiate your credit card interest rate(s) annually.
• Find cheaper ways to do things. Whether activities or products. Did you know that white vinegar can be used as an inexpensive household cleaner and even fabric softener?

Use your money wisely!

Retro post...

May 25th, 2002 - Livejournal

"I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years 5 months, that sucks, it is like all the doors are closed. I know God has someone who is going to be sooooo RAD for me. but it is really hard to wait. Who knows, she might pop up tomorrow, or next year. Dang is it difficult to hold out and not just find any skank wandering by."

This was written almost 8 years to the day of my first date with the love of my life, Andrea. She has been such a blessing to me and I feel I understand God's love for us all the more because of our relationship. 

If you read this Andrea, I love you! I am looking forward to many adventures, and a life of love - with you.

Which way to vote?! Hmm...

Is there a "politics of God"?

-Relevant Magazine article

Quote of the day...

"We must dare to love in a world that does not know how to love."
-Unknown French Priest

Retro post...

May 13th, 2002 - Livejournal


Well, God, if I live a few years on this earth and have to give up “comfort” it’s ok. And if I can’t get to always feel like I’m in charge or even that I know what I’m doing, I’m ok. And if I get persecuted for being who you call me to be, and people get downright nasty, it’s ok. And if I never get to live out the “American Dream” and have an impeccable wife, an impeccable house, an impeccable minivan, and impeccable kids, I’m ok. And if I don’t just “settle down” and “enjoy life”, it’s ok. And if I spend my whole life in weird shadows in unglamorous places and never really get recognized, it’s ok. If I don’t do the traditional “ministry” and fit into a typical position, it’s ok.

But God, please be with me. Please be behind me and in me and through me. Let me at least know that you are guiding me, and that you will see me through. When men fail me, and they will, I want you God. May I run to you and into your arms and throw myself at you day in and day out. May you really be my solace, my strength, my strong tower and my comforter, my guide, my Lord, my love, my joy.

God, when it’s all said and done and my life has been poured out unto completion – may you be glorified! May it be a sweet smelling offering to you and may you say “well done good and faithful servant. Now come and enter my rest.” This is my prayer.

-Author unknown

Lyrics of the day...

"No I don't belong here,

I'll never call this place my home,

I'm just passing through."

-Thrice

Retro post...

May 9th, 2002 - Livejournal


As the future stares me in the face I must be strong enough to tackle it. Devise a strategy so I can have a winning game. That way when I lay there, a decrepit old man I will have no regrets. Regrets about how I raised my kids, treated my wife or served others.

Take some time to look up from the daily grind to enjoy the sky.

Life is a gift, be thankful for it.

Quote of the day...

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world, indeed it's the only thing that ever has."
-Margaret Mead

Thought provoking...

A friend sent me the following image via email. I'm still "processing" it, as it has been weighing on me since I received it yesterday afternoon. There are many conclusions one can make about the meaning that the (unknown) artist is alluding to.

Music... Ahhh... Music...

Music is an integral part of my life. From 4th grade through 9th grade I played the trumpet (well technically a coronet). Growing up in a conservative Christian home, one where my dad worked at a Christian radio station; it was expected and enforced that we'd only listen to "Christian music". It is with a smile that I think back to my childhood, secretly listening to "secular" songs on a clock radio - hoping not to get caught. One of my favorite songs, strangely, was Iesha by Another Bad Creation circa 1990. Over time my folks loosened the reigns a bit and allowed me to listen to country music. (Yes, it's true I used to love country music.) I cannot explain the rationale behind this, maybe I should talk to my folks. Perhaps country music was "ok" because somehow country artists interweave "Christianity" into their music about broken marriages, drunkenness and the proverbial pickup truck. It wasn't until I left home at the age of 19 that I really began understanding, and appreciating the wide range of music that has been gifted to us. My friend James introduced me to some incredible bands (to name a few): U2, The Cure, The Clash, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode. Several of which became my favorite bands. My life, and my testimony wouldn't be the same without The Cure's - Pictures of You.


Music has shaped me. It has strengthened me. Music has darkened my day, and has also brightened it. I can't help but see how valuable music is, when I see a homeless man walking down the street with all his earthly possessions on his back, and the thing he clings to tightest is his guitar.

"Music is the best refreshment of a troubled man,

whereby his heart is again brought to peace,

invigorated and refreshed."

-Martin Luther

Lyrics of the day...

"You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of us!"
-Gungor

Stoked!

This has really nothing to do with what The Transparency Campaign is about. But...

A-Basin opened today!!!

Mixed messages...

Last night I attended a gala to benefit local crisis pregnancy centers, or as they're now referred to as, "care pregnancy centers". Even in a shirt and tie I felt underdressed. I knew I should have worn my suit coat... The night revolved around a central theme, that life was to be cherished. At one point the MC asked people to raise their hand if they had kids, and people clapped and cheered for them. It was at this point that some of the right-wing ideas of the evening came to light. The MC didn't start, and never even got to the people that had one, two or three children, but went straight to "Who has four children?" And the number went up from there. I don't mind people honoring parents, that is a beautiful thing, but to be true to their intended message of life is beautiful, to be cherished, to be protected, etc; they should have honored all parents, not just ones that drive 15-passenger vans. Anyways.

The keynote speaker was Tony Perkins, the President of the Family Research Council. Being a former Marine, a former Police Officer, and a former Politician, he spoke with great "command presence". His 20ish minute talk involved a mixture of wit and wisdom. I nodded my head numerous times in agreement to things he had to say, but I also was picking up on a weird bipolar message as well. Before I get to that let me retell a joke that Mr. Perkins told.

There were two senators in D.C., one a Republican and one a Democrat. Over coffee they were arguing who was more religious. Back and forth they went defending why they were more pious. Finally the Republican says to the Dem, "I bet you twenty-dollars that you cannot recite the Lord's Prayer." The Democrat makes a snappy comment about how easy that is and launches in. "Now I lay me down to sleep..." At the conclusion, standing there in amazement the Republican pulls his wallet from his pocket and produces a $20 bill. He says, "I didn't think you would have known that!"


Now back to the keynote address... Mr. Perkins said several times that we should value life in all stages, from the not yet born to the elderly. I completely agree, and it is this holistic approach towards life that the pro-life movement is missing. Either we are truly "pro-life" or we are merely "anti-abortion". Mr. Perkins called on those in attendance to "get out and vote" on November 2nd, and broadly supported the Republican Party. I couldn't help but think about how typically Republicans are pro-war, which is anti-(others) life but pro-(American) life. As true followers of Christ I say that we must be completely concerned with all life. The unborn, the aged, the orphan, the widow, and even the Iraqi. It would be a true pro-life position to oppose warfare.

Another direction Mr. Perkins went was to remind us that we have the personal obligation to change our world. This too I can agree with. He even said that the Church should be leading the way in service to others instead of our government. Agreed. But of course he told us to vote for Republicans, never minding the Democrats or Independents in the audience. Because apparently God loves Republicans, and the other parties dislike freedom, want to spend your hard-earned pay, and want to kill babies. He tried to appear unpolitical or even bipartisan from time to time, but his right-wing message came out loud and clear.

When we start placing labels on people that is when mistreatment instead of love takes place. Oh they're just slaves. Mexicans. Third World. Hookers. Fags. Democrats. People - created in the image of God become nothing more than a statistic, or something to be feared. The lens of the Bible is quite clear, and free of our political distortion. We are to LOVE ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
-James 1:27

Life is a gift, there is no question. This evening in a room filled with those I'd consider "brothers and sisters", the Lord shined a spotlight on my heart. Asking me "What are you doing?" I can donate thousands of dollars a year to charity but are my hands getting dirty? Am I loving well? Is my religion "pure and faultless" because I care for widows and orphans?

LOVE ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME!

Lyrics of the day...

"Don't hide behind your weakness."
-War of Ages




(I'll be writing later today about my observations of a pro-life benefit gala I attended Sat. night.)

Quote of the day...

"The Church has lost touch with the real, controversial and challenging Jesus Christ and His teachings."
-Me, circa 2006

The Transparency Campaign marches on... And my time on Facebook draws to an end...

(Saturday, October 16, 2010)

Just the other day I posted here on Facebook that I'd be pulling the plug for awhile. Since that day I've received numerous replies and text messages asking me why. While several people have been supportive, the most common response seems to be one of fear. Fear that I'll suddenly cease to exist or something. I'm being dramatic here but this is how I feel. Just because I'm going to take a hiatus from social networking does not mean that I no longer have a functioning cell phone, a physical address or even that I'm going to take up residence in a cave.

Thinking back and even looking back at thing I've written, I've come to realize that Facebook has become sort of a clone, a fabrication of real relationships. Sure it's fun to "follow" lives of "friends" from high school (never mind I've been out of high school for close to 15 years), but if I lived in the same town would I show such interest - giving them hours of my day, everyday? While there are hundreds of Facebook "friends", how many are true friends? Here over the past couple of months, and even the past couple of weeks genuine relationships have been at the forefront of my mind.  This has been spurred on by two, and possibly more distinct things. I'll just share with you the two...

#1. My relationship with my gorgeous girlfriend Andrea... I've been chided for the amount of times my status has included her but that's not where I'm going with this. What I've discovered is that my knowledge and love for her doesn't grow because of what I know from my computer screen, but from hours upon hours in face-to-face, real relationship with her. While it's fun to share photos of our adventures together - online. It is those adventures, or even non-adventures like grocery shopping that are most rewarding. 

#2. My long-distance relationship with my family... It is so hard being away from my self-described "crazy" family. I may not see them but two or three times a year, but they truly mean the world to me. Here two weeks ago Andrea and I went to California to visit them. What joy it was to play with my nephews, to cook for my family, and to sit in a living room and merely laugh. Tangible. Real. Valuable. Memory making. I miss that and Facebook doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

There have been several other times I've come close to pulling the plug on Facebook; I just haven't had the courage to do it or I'd talk myself out of it. Two of my biggest excuses for maintaining my account have been...

#1. I enjoy starting conversations (or even a debate. Shocking I know.)... Facebook has given me a virtual soapbox on which to step and discuss personal, religious, and political things. For some reason I feel that this medium is like a megaphone for me. I like challenging people because it is in this that change may occur or beliefs become strengthened. But here's the thing, I really have no way of knowing my impact, if any. Maybe people have grown tired of me and have hit the "hide" button. Having people sit in my living room discussing ___________________ is so much more stretching and authentic. 

#2. I need to show off my photo talent in order to find work... Yes there is merit to marketing myself. But then to be perfectly honest I am seeking attention more than I am seeking clients. It is always nice to be wanted, and I love "words of affirmation". Why not make art that touches lives instead of fishes for compliments?

Here about 2 months ago a friend pulled the plug on his Facebook. He too was bombarded by a throng of people telling him, "Don't go!" He set up some hurdles to jump before he'd allow himself back on. These were lofty goals such as reading "War and Peace". I'm not that heady to tackle such a goal. But let me get down to some of the reasons I'm breaking up with Facebook...

Probably the biggest reason is I waste hours everyday on it. Yes hours. Sure I don't watch TV, but I do sit in front of my computer way to much. Facebook has become an addiction. One that I have to feed first thing in the morning, before I goto work, at work, and before bed. It isn't enough to cut back, I truly need to quit cold-turkey. And as I result I hope my life becomes more productive.

Next. Put simply, I give more time to Facebook every week than I do to my friends, family, personal/ professional development, and most importantly, God.

My room, my budget, my house, and often times, my head - is a mess. And most times instead of working on these things I'll put it all on the back burner in favor of Facebooking.

Andrea said it clearly the other day. She described me as and "all in or all out" person. This is true. That is why I must be deliberate about this Facebook fast. Being half-assed just doesn't cut it for me.

I have a pile of books that are half read. Adventures not lived out. A room that has been a wreck for years. People gone unloved. Trails gone unridden. Plans not finished. Thoughts not completed. Dreams unfulfilled. I cannot and will not throw my life away any longer.

Goodbye Facebook. It isn't you, it's me. I need some space.

- Tim

GOALS:

Finish several books I've started.

Clean and keep clean my room, finally.

Donate 1/4+ of my clothes.

Clean my garage.

1 intentional photo outing a week.

Journal more.

Love more.

Serve more.

Decide on some business specifics (branding/ pricing/ marketing). 

The first of many...

So this begins a new adventure. Why now? Well roughly 48 hours ago I pulled the plug on my Facebook account. No, I didn’t delete it, but I did deactivate it in order to be more productive, and to love well. (I’ll be posting the note I wrote about that, no worries.) What an odd feeling that was at midnight – Sunday. It almost felt that I was trading my life for something uncertain. So many hours a day were spent there on facebook having “relationships” with friends. What about REALationships? I guess that’s what my intentional step away from social-networking is about. Getting back to investing my life and time into those I love, and even those I don’t know.

Aside from looking at tons of amateur photos the thing that I have already missed most is being able to express myself through writing. I know. I know. You’re like, “But it’s only been 48 hours.” Very true, but that still doesn’t relieve me of that longing. Over the past couple of years I have written about the things I’ve been wrestling with most deeply. From pacifism to relationship drama to nationalism in the church to love to political musings to stories of serving the homeless on cold - dark nights. These were difficult and brutally honest glimpses into what often transpires in my head or heart. Sometimes I’d title these posts as my “Transparency Campaign”, hence this blog’s name.

What I’ve discovered in sharing these things, and in sharing my personal testimony of a very “dark” time almost 11 years ago when I contemplated suicide; is that I/ we are not alone. Too many times I’ve lied to peoples’ faces. And the most disturbing thing was this lying most frequently took place in a church setting. The typical question from a fellow churchgoer, “How are you this morning?” followed by my fake smile and the insincere, “I’m great!” What would have happened if my response deviated from the typical, or was answered with truth? Maybe I had a shitty day. What  if I was suicidal? How would that parishioner have responded? While I don’t want to burden my reader with ranting about things, I do feel there is value in being transparent. It is during these times that I am encouraged even if I’m broken. We are all broken in our own ways.

I’d love this blog to be a place where I can keep my writing skills sharp yet offer up thought provoking material without the juvenile banter of Facebook. Point-Blank Prose & Propaganda. That is what you’ll find here. And right off the bat those two words, Prose & Propaganda, cause some tension. Over the years I’d heard the word “prose”, but I never took the time to understand it. Prose means writing matter-of-factly. And well, then there’s propaganda. The deliberate spreading of information. So that’s what I’m hoping to accomplish here at The Transparency Campaign. Transparent matter-of-fact thinking and information. I’d love to have you along on the journey. It may be dangerous, but as long as we’re in this together we’ll come out stronger.

"[...] Teachers are suspect; writers are suspect, because people who use words are able to work out complex ideas, to see injustice, and perhaps even try to do something about it."

- Madeleine L'Engle 

Welcome.