As the next season of the proverbial trashcan fire, The Bachelor, begins I've been dwelling on a weird phenomena. In an apparent pushback against a culture that seems so preoccupied with women's physical beauty there are parents who have decided to forgo telling their girls that they are beautiful or mentioning their looks.
Sure I'm a new dad, but forgoing telling my daughter that I think she's beautiful seems so foreign to me. I want to lavish her with affection, words of affirmation and attention all day - everyday. Our American culture seems to chew up and spit out our youth. Colorado Springs has one of the highest teen suicide rates in the country. Some might be quick to chalk it up to "mental health", but I would say it has a lot to do with the voices speaking in to these kids' lives. You can only be bullied, body shamed, or called "fugly" for so long before you start to wonder your worth.
- Jonathan Helser
If the influence of peers isn't strong enough to define our kids; research has said that we see 3,000+ advertisements per day. If you turn on the TV, peruse a magazines or scroll Instagram, you will probably come away with the sense that you aren't attractive, fit or exciting enough. Now imagine that those voices are all your kids hear... What if you never told your wife that you thought she was beautiful? What if the first time your daughter heard "you're beautiful" was from a guy who was trying to date her?
It's unfortunate that media and society holds so much power to shape us. We must have consistent, wise and loving voices speaking into the lives of our children. It is our duty as parents to provide that fertile soil so that our kids grow up to be strong and loving adults. There is no time for passivity. Tell them how wonderful, smart, kind, beautiful/handsome you think they are. Words are powerful - use them for good.
"I think refraining from calling something that is beautiful - beautiful, is inherently inhuman... My girls are beautiful. And I'll be damned if I don't tell them so."
- James, father of 4 girls and my long time friend
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