The mystery of divine love...

I have these days where I feel so inept, and so inadequate in my relationship with my gorgeous fiancee Andrea. No doubt some of that is spiritual warfare, and the remainder is my wrestling with insecurity and self-comparison. Shoot, I'm a tattooed and jaded kid from Cali with an associates degree engaged to be married to a beautiful woman from the midwest that has a doctorate. There are a slew of other comparisons I can make, and have made. Each of these comparisons leaves me feeling more and more inadequate, and undeserving.

But a love given to those who don't deserve it, or even feel as if they don't deserve it has to be the greatest love of all. Think about it. If you're prideful enough to say "I deserve your love" you've made love your servant. Whereas when you're not a demanding recipient of love you are the servant of love and the one it pours upon.

My relationship with Andrea has allowed me to see these direct correlations between humanly love and the love that God has for us, yes, even while sinners. No wonder Jesus spoke time and time again about the Church being a "bride". He was putting it in terms that not only our ears but also our heart can understand. Day in and day out we long to be loved, and each day God does love us. Loves us unconditionally. Loves us even though we don't deserve it. He loves us in the midst of our darkest day, and when our backs are turned in an angry temper tantrum.

"The outstretched arms of Jesus exclude no one,

neither the drunk in the doorway,

the panhandler on the street,

gays and lesbians in their isolation,

the most selfish and ungrateful in their cocoons,

the most unjust employers and the most overweening of snobs.

The love of Christ embraces all without exception."

-Brennan Manning in The Furious Longing of God

What a mystery it is, and I strive to be a great detective such as Sherlock Holmes.